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After Saturday night’s unprecedented success with Earth Hour, the White House announced today that, by Executive Order, April has been declared “Earth Month”, the next step in reducing our dependence on fossil fuels.
For the month of April, U.S. residents and businesses are being required to turn off all electrical appliances and lights. A special waiver is being given to electric cars and homes running entirely on solar-powered electricity. Compliance will be monitored by volunteers who report infractions to a special EPA hotline.
White House press secretary Josh Earnestly stated, “The President’s science advisor has informed us that the resulting reduction in greenhouse gas emissions, especially from coal-fired power plants, will be the same as taking 92 billion cars off the road for 15 years.”
While hospitals will be inconvenienced as life-saving equipment is shut down, economist Paul Krugman has stated that there will be a significant savings in the health care sector as fewer and fewer patients will eventually be requiring such services. “The U.S. population will, on average, be healthier at the end of the month”, Krugman said.
When asked how the country can function without using electricity, Josh Earnestly replied, “If North Korea can do it, so can we.” Repeated attempts to reach North Korean leader Kim Jong Un for comment were unsuccessful.
It’s not really Earth Month unless the President decides it’s Earth Month.
Compliance will be monitored by volunteers who report infractions to a special EPA hotline.
Are citizens of the United States going to be fined for turning on a light in the evening? I remember seeing satellite videos of Earth passing over North Korea and how astonished the news media claimed to be by the absence of lights. If that is our goal, this is getting ridiculous.
“If North Korea can do it, so can we.”
Whitehouse Press Secretary Josh Earnest claims President Obama strives to be like North Korea? Emperor Barrack Jong Un.
I fell for it. I admit, Roy got me. Problem is, it sounded so plausible. On this subject matter, claims this astounding should have been easier to spot. Unfortunately, under our past couple of administrations, these statements don’t seem that far fetched.
Good job Roy. (I hope I’m not as gullible as I feel right now).
And the date is?
Exactly. Every bit as comical as scheduling global warming protests during winter and sending scholars to Antarctica to study icecap melt only to have them needing rescue by icebreakers. The only bit our AGW friends ever got right was to have Jim Hansen’s debut Senate hearing in the hot summer.
So funny it hurts. Or so close to the truth it hurts.
Can’t decide which.
I thought this was a guest post by the famous author Larson E. Rapp until I checked the byline!
You’re ‘Joshing’ me, right!? The real April fools are in the White House.
Funny!
Is there any way to hide the comments if I share your post? There are a few places that I would like to share it and see how many actually buy it.
I’ve already been surprised by the stuff they believe and cheer for within seconds/minutes of posting.
Takes a while for the ones that actually think (thus make for good CAGWarmonger vs denier debates) to come around and… chastise the idiots?
You forgot to mention Al Gore has graciously volunteered to monitor the plains and rocky mountain states by circling overhead in his IR and EMF sensing luxury jet.
He will do this for the entire month salary free*
*Carbon offsets for Jet emissions will be purchased by Taxpayers from GoreAgainstCO2 Ltd.
“The White House is seeking to enshrine its pledge in a global climate agreement to be negotiated Nov. 30 to Dec. 11 in Paris. It calls for cutting greenhouse gas emissions by close to 28 percent from 2005 levels within a decade, using a host of existing laws and executive actions targeting power plants, vehicles, oil and gas production and buildings.”
http://investmentwatchblog.com/obama-plans-executive-order-for-un-climate-rules/
Ha, ha. You see it really is all about me, and there’s not a d[arn] thing you can do about it.
…go for it, dude.
Like all the best jokes, there’s an element of truth to it.
The only problem I have with the article is the mention of Paul Krugman. We in the UK used to be subjected to this fools views nightly on the BBC about how our Chancellor of the Exchequer, George Osborne, was an raving lunatic for claiming his austerity programme would create far more jobs in the private sector than would be lost in the public sector. Krugman was a God to the BBC lefties and his arrogance shone like a beacon.
Now some years later, when we have created 1,900,000 net new jobs, Krugman has disappeared off our screens and is never seen on these shores. An idiot if ever I saw one.
…which is why I used his name.
Very clever Roy, because it’s almost credible, and that’s what’s worrying.
Roy You are clearly multi talented
That was so funny I posted it on my Facebook and credited you Roy. Hope you don’t mind.
Hi Roy,
No doubt a special EARTH MONTH dispensation card will be given to abortion facilities and end of life (Euthanasia) care centers in their on going march to ethnically remake the country in the vision of the supposedly elected leader. This should in their delusion reduce the most dangerous block of carbon emitters. Politically connected globally conscious industrialist leaders like his IMMENSITY Al GORE may need three dispensation cards including domestic, international overseas territories and one for extra-terrestrial jurisdictions should he decide to visit Mars in an attempt to GROCK with the natives and convince them and possibly E.T. included to cut their carbon waste. After all almost the entire Martian atmosphere proves to be composed of CO2. Their problem dwarfs our own. When the EPA lands on Venus we can expect positive things to happen. They won’t be here for example.
Have a great day!
Thanks, Dr. Spencer.
Happy April 1st! 😉
As the final details of the Iranian nuclear deal are put in place, Iran has agreed to President Obama’s demands that experienced squads of the Basiji be dispatched to the United States to monitor the compliance of American households to the new energy-usage rules defined in the agreement.
The President stated in his speech announcing the final agreement, “the Basiji know how to ensure compliance of people with the rules of society. We are sure that having such splendid people in the US will show Americans that they needn’t wallow in their ignorant beliefs that the Iranian government’s values are not exactly the same as those of ordinary folks.”
“This treaty will bring about great benefits to the United States, as coal, oil, natural gas, hydroelectric power, and nuclear power can all be eliminated from our economy. Since usage will be cut to 5% of the current total, it is now possible for solar and wind power to fulfill all of our energy needs.”
The President later stated, “We now have an opportunity to perfect society, as returning to subsistence farming will eliminate big corporations and prevent the destruction of the earth.”
It has been reported that Lois Lerner, formerly head of the IRS, is the likely choice to lead the new government agency that will ensure fair allocation of land to all Americans.
Also final is one of the clauses that was at times a sticking point in the negotiations, that the military of the United States will be eliminated in order to comply with the energy mandates and the US will now pay a tribute to Iran to provide international security under its nuclear umbrella and provide internal security with units of Hezbollah.
A white house official said that President Obama believes that this treaty will cement his legacy as the greatest president in United States history.
No Republican leader could be found to comment on the treaty.
Happy April 1st!
In a little reported (yet) additional move the White House has decreed that politicians will be required to honour. Earth Year. For a year all American politicians must shut up.
Those who disobey will be fitted with a specially designed mouth brace.
It is estimated, by the presidential science adviser, that this will save more energy (much of it as hot air) than a dozen earth hours.
Nice one Roy, brought a smile to my face on Thursday morning. Like all “solutions” they must be scalable. Not everyone can take to the woods and live off solar PV and berries.
In the UK it seems at long last common sense my be creeping back into government:
Tories Place Energy Policy at Heart of Manifesto
http://euanmearns.com/tories-place-energy-policy-at-heart-of-manifesto/
Best Euan
Euan,
And yours is dated 1 April also.
But it sounds like a plan.
For those who don’t live in a country where April’s Fools day is celebrated, like me, it has been a little shock for a while.
Hahaha!!
It’s sad that is so easy to think de news are true!
Well played, Dr. Roy!
Good job Roy. I must admit, I was duped.
Considering the direction our country has been traveling, the story sounded like it had legs. Fortunately for me, I don’t blog about this to anyone on other sights, so my shame is local to this blog only.
Humbly feeling very gullible at this time,
Jim
😎
Makes me wonder if DHMO.org premiered on April 1st.
This and that both start out believable….
Your 21 March post is more bizarre.